Dreams coming true… and I turn to poo!

Have you ever had a massive dream that you’ve had brewing for years, visioned, planned for and even begun taking steps towards, and then when it begins to turn into your reality (finally!) you start falling apart? 

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I’ve been quiet on the blog lately working away at manifesting a new stage in my life. I’ve managed to navigate a move back to the land I love, the Northcoast of NSW. Land of sunshine, farmers markets, incredible coastline and many open-hearted creative folk heavily influenced by the ’70s hippy movement. Not to mention it’s a highlight for most touring musicians so there’s a plethora of live music, plays and cultural events. Plus there’s outstanding yoga/personal growth festivals like Spirit Fest and Uplift. My kinda heaven.

For years I’ve longed to move back to this land of milk and honey  (organic of course ), where I had lived previously for close to a decade. But not having yet created my dream work (in progress), I wanted to be sure I had regular income flow. Finally, after much soul searching I got really clear and prayed. The next day my Manager announced that he was supportive of my move and was able to relocate my part-time communications role to a small local office.

Me and my guy cried for joy.

And he found us a dreamy cabin as out first stop – a slice of Paradise.

Then, I completely freaked the fuck out!

All my old wounds around moving locations, around relationship, around not being in control brewed within me. These seemingly incomprehensible feelings soon unfurled in anger and frustration which finally gave way to tears.

Later, when I had a chance to process some of this with help from a therapist, I saw that the stress of moving had rocketed me into reacting from my subconscious mind – hence the explanation as to why on the one hand I knew this move was completely on track but on the other I was in an emotional mess. I came to the understanding that the main subconscious thought that was tripping me up was formed about ten years ago when I had moved back to Sydney and, with less awareness of how to meet my own needs, I got very low and miserable. Not processing these emotions at the time, I’d stored unhelpful beliefs – moving makes me miserable, I won’t cope, I will be lonely and depressed and that sucks. The stress of moving and changing work was enough to allow these unconscious beliefs to start influencing  my life in the present.   Other subconscious thoughts were included thinking my partner ‘looked’ like an ex-boyfriend with whom things didn’t turn out so well, so perhaps my current boyfriend wasn’t trustworthy either – crazy I know, but that’s the power of our buried beliefs.

With these unhelpful thoughts processed, I now look at a half empty home needing a good scrub for tomorrow’s impending inspection. I’m feeling reconnected to my dreams and ready to get rubber gloves on and leave my old life behind!

What about you? I learnt that if my dreams suddenly lose their glow that perhaps there are some unhelpful thoughts lurking below the surface of my conscious mind that could do with a nudge. I’ve found great help with Emotional Freedom Technique, Energetic Healers, Kinesiology. Where do you turn for help? 

P.S. A sweet black and white cat just walked into the sun room where I’m writing. I’ve never seen her before.  She let me pet her while she scratched and rolled around…hmmm…like a tiger.